Growing up is a weird business.
This blog has existed for at least a year now, realistically two or so, and tonight I sat down to revamp the whole thing. I shucked off the old posts, updated some links, gave it a new look, and here we are, all green and balloons.
I am in a new city (Pittsburgh), packing up and getting ready to move into a new apartment, and, mid-August, will be starting a new degree at Chatham University. My now-deleted posts angsting over the MFA application process are distant memories: I’ve been accepted, and I’m three years away from achieving my MFA in Creative Writing.
As we all know, growth doesn’t happen quickly, or without its pains. Certainly I’ve suffered the aches that come with life’s transitions. In January this year I moved out of my parents’ house and in with my boyfriend six hours away, which wasn’t exactly pleasing to several members of my family. In doing so, I also moved away from my few but close friends – at least, the ones who hadn’t scattered before I got the chance. Living in a city with a significant other has been completely natural, and terrifying, and no big deal, and mind-bogglingly foreign, all at once. But through all the aches and pains, I love it here. I really do.
When I got my first “real” job after college, things still felt up in the air, like I had somehow missed a calling I hadn’t yet discovered. Then, in the summer of 2010, I took my first college-level creative writing course and my life changed forever. I knew I couldn’t go back to my “real” job ever again and feel even for one second the elation and joy I felt being a part of that summer creative writing course. I wanted to grab onto that feeling and never let it go, and I was finally at a point in my life where I had the courage to do so.
I’m anxious and eager to get back into academia; it’s the one place I feel productive, useful, and at home. Since finishing my MA in December 2012 I’ve been doing some reading and, sadly, very little writing. I need a jump-start. I can’t wait to see what experiences Chatham’s program will offer. And I can’t wait to get back to writing and updating this blog on a regular basis!
Pretty much since my teenage years – when I couldn’t wait to be 16, and then 18, and then 21 – I’ve felt like whatever I’ve been working toward would lead me to “the rest of my life,” that I’d eventually hit that magic age where adulthood begins, life opens up, the planets align, and everything feels right and normal. But the more time goes by, the more I realize I’ll always feel like I’m chasing after “the rest of my life,” and I’ll never hit that magic age. But with this path I’m on now – a nonfiction track in Chatham’s Creative Writing MFA program – I’ll happily chase it wherever it leads me.